BROWNIES
- Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
- Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
- Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "No, no."
- Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
- Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
- Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
- Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
- Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
- Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
- Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
- Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.
- Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
- Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
- Let cat out of refrigerator.
- Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.
- Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
- Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.
- Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.
FROSTING
- Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine
- Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away - far away.
- Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
- Put Jr. in playpen.
- Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
- Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot.
- Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
- Tie Billy to clothesline.
- Remove burned brownies from oven.
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