Martha's way #1: |
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Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. |
My way: |
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Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. |
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Martha's way #2: |
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Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time. |
My way: |
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Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. |
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Martha's way #3: |
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To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. |
My way: |
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Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. |
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Martha's way #4: |
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To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling. |
My way: |
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Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? |
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Martha's way #5: |
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To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. |
My way: |
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Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs. |
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Martha's way #6: |
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To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop. |
My way: |
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Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking. |
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Martha's way #7: |
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Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. |
My way: |
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Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers. |
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Martha's way #8: |
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When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. |
My way: |
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Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. |
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Martha's way #9: |
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If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up" |
My way: |
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If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. |
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Martha's way #10 |
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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. |
My way: |
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Celery? Never heard of the stuff. |
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Martha's way #11 |
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Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. |
My way: |
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The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it. |
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Martha's way #12 |
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Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it. |
My way: |
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Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"? |
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Martha's way #13 |
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When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. |
My way: |
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The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.
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Martha's way #14 |
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To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away. |
My way: |
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Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh. |
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Martha's way #15 |
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Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. |
My way: |
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Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now blind. |
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Martha's way #16 |
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Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. |
My way: |
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Leftover wine? |
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Martha's way #17 |
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If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. |
My way: |
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Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. |
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Martha's way #18 |
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Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. |
My way: |
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Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink. |
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Martha's way #19 |
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Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. * Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. * Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. * Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. *
Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). |
My way: |
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Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once. |