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"Kitchen Signs"

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen    and this kitchen is delirious. Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen    and gone on to lead normal lives. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! If we are what we eat, then I'm fast, cheap and easy. If you don't like my standards of cooking ...    lower your standards. Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came    with the house when I bought it. There are only three kinds of food -    Frozen, Canned, & Take-out! Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

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