Food Funnies Page   
"Computer User's Glossary of Cooking Terms"

ACCELERATOR Microwave ACCESS DENIED Diet Time ALT As in "alt and pepper to taste" ASCII Callii Tech Support AUTOEXEC.BAT Cookies in your boss' car BACKSLASH Do to piecrust before cooking BACKUP Leftovers BASIC PBJ Sandwich BATCH Mess o' BINARY Buy nary, eat nary BLOCK Cake baked with no eggs BOOT Heat your oven CACHE Do when egg is rolling off counter CAD Someone who promises to cook, then doesn't CD When you don't core apples before baking CLUSTER Kitchen advisors COMMAND Tell someone else to cook COMPRESS Knead CONFIG.SYS Have your sister figure it out COPY Double recipe CRASH Drop main course at big dinner party CTRL What you lose after crashing CURSOR Who you are after crashing CUSTOMIZE Add sprinkles DATA Sort-a like-a fig-a DEBUG Check the flour before using DIP-SWITCH What you do when you're out of salsa DIRECTORY De place where de priest lives DOCUMENT Small, after-dinner candy DOS Dine Or Starve DOT MATRIX Dorothy's mother DOWNLOAD Pour batter into pan DOWNTIME Time while brownies are baking DRAG What time does while brownies are baking ENTER Put in oven ESCAPE Order out EXPANSION Too much yeast EXPORT Take leftovers to the neighbors EXTRACT Usually vanilla F.A.T. See "Access denied" FASTOPEN Do to oven when you overbake FLOPPY Bake longer next time FOLDER Blender FRAGMENT What's left of brownies FREEZE Do when you accidently quadruple the recipe GIGA-BYTE Enough for an army GOTO As in "Goto restaurant when recipe bombs" HELP Julia Child HIGH DENSITY Forgot to fold in the eggs HIGHLIGHT Top with white icing ICON I con cook anything better than you con IMPORT Borrow a cup of sugar INTERFACE Where a lady puts her dinner LAPTOP Eat only the icing LOADHIGH Put in freezer LOG ON Cook in fireplace LOGIC Why somebody else should cook LOOP Why somebody else thinks you should cook LPT1 Put on front burner MAINFRAME Oven MEG Mc chickens lay 'em MEGA-BYTE Slow down! MEGA-HERTZ When you forget to use a potholder MEMORY Forget it - use a timer MENU Surely you're kidding MERGE Nickname for margarine MICROCHIPS Serve with micro salsa MODEM Top with ice cream MONITOR Oven window MONO One-burner stove MOTHERBOARD Mom's tired of cooking NANOSECOND Time it takes to eat DOS-Serts NERD Someone who understands this whole glossary NETWORK I slice, you dice NORTON Maybe he'll fix these recipes for you PARAMETERS Kitchen doors PARSE Nickname for parsley PASSWORD "Dinnertime" PATH Worn-out place leading to refrigerator POSTCRIPT Dessert RAM Overeat ROM Overeat in England SCANNER Guest deciding whether to eat SCROLL Recite list of ingredients SELECT Choose edible portion SERIAL What you eat when you burn dinner SHAREWARE Mom's crock pot SHIFT "Cap" cake with icing SORT Pick the burnt ones out SPREADSHEET Use under really messy cooks TAB Drink after "Pie A La Modem" TECH SUPPORT Hello, Mom? TOGGLE Switch recipes TURBO High setting on microwave VGA Add food coloring ZOOM I can see it on the table now

Return to Food Funnies Main Page